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BRYONY GORDON: I posted a nude selfie online - you'd never guess the reaction (It isn't what you think!) The Life of Bryony podcast: Your weekly dose of therapy, on Spotify, Apple & YouTube. Listen here By BRYONY GORDON Published: 01:28, 18 April 2025 | Updated: 01:28, 18 April 2025 e-mail View comments Opening up my Instagram feed on Monday morning, I expected the usual: celebrities on lavish Easter getaways and influencers telling me about the latest wellness fad that’s changed their life (this week). Instead, I was confronted with an intervention.
‘We’re reaching out to offer help,’ said the message. ‘Someone thinks that you might need some extra support at the moment and has asked us to help.’ Intrigued, not to mention confused (I’d recently posted smiley pictures of myself on the beach in Cornwall with my family), I clicked on the ‘see resources’ button Instagram offered.
There, I learnt I could talk to a friend, or a helpline volunteer. In other words, were I in any real trouble with my mental health, Mark Zuckerberg and all the other tech bros at Meta weren’t going to be of much use. Fortunately, I felt in fine spirits.
Or, at least, I had until the creepy faux-concerned message. Baffled as to why I might have received it, I did some digging. It turns out, if someone is worried about your content, they can report it to Instagram, which is obliged to then send the aforementioned message to cover their behinds.
But what, exactly, might have prompted one of my 242,000 or so followers to report me? While I’ve spoken candidly about my experience of mental illness in the past, lately I’d posted nothing more depressing than a shot of me trying to run up a Cornish hill in the wind and rain. There are some reels featuring interviews from my Mail podcast, a shot of me reading in an outside bath (completely covered by bubbles), and then ..
. a carousel of images of me with no clothes on, enjoying the first warm rays of sun in a private garden. These had to be the offending photos that’d caused someone to report me.
Because, while I’d been careful to make sure any ‘naughty’ bits were covered with strategically placed emojis, I suppose, in this day and age, it could be considered a sign of madness for a woman to post unfiltered pictures of her body online. Of course, it’s exactly this attitude that prompts me to post such pictures in the first place. Had I posted a highly edited photo of myself with dimple-free thighs in a barely-there bikini, nobody would have batted an eyelid, writes Bryony Gordon Apparently, it’s now so unusual to see women’s bodies as they actually look that people feel compelled to report it to Instagram when someone is insane enough to display the true wobbliness of their bottom.
Yet, had I posted a highly edited photo of myself with dimple-free thighs in a barely-there bikini, nobody would have batted an eyelid. Had I photoshopped out my stomach rolls, deleted the silver lines on my bottom, and used an app to make my body three sizes smaller, chances are, not a single soul would have been worried about my mental health (even though I’d argue they absolutely should have been). The impossible beauty standards on social media today are having disastrous effects on our self esteem.
Every day I hear from women who believe their bodies and lives are somehow a failure because they don’t come with an Instagram filter. How ironic, then, that when I try to take a stand against it, the very site that’s made so many women feel so terrible should profess to be concerned about my mental health. It’s why I will once again be running the London Marathon next weekend in just my underwear.
After all, nobody bats an eyelid when the elite women run in tiny shorts and bras, so why should it be a problem when a woman who’s a size 18 does? But I know it is a problem, thanks to trolls on Instagram who tell me how disgusting I am for doing it. (When I report them to Meta, the only help I’m offered is the block button.) It’s amazing how triggered people get when they see a woman using her unfiltered body in a way that isn’t designed to titillate.
This year, I hope to bump into Louise Butcher out on the course. The breast cancer survivor will be running completely topless in an effort to remove some of the stigma women face when they choose not to have reconstructive surgery after a mastectomy. Louise, 51, was told by a surgeon she should have it ‘because as a woman without breasts in society, your mental health will be negatively impacted’.
She refused. She then ran her first marathon just six weeks post mastectomy. Louise says part of the reason she runs topless is to create ‘a discussion around why is it not acceptable to see a woman with mastectomy scars and flat closure [where the chest is flat and smooth], when it is OK for a man to run topless?’ She makes a great point.
So, should you see either of us running about in our knickers, don’t be concerned: we’re doing just fine, thank you very much. Indeed, if I may be so bold – and why break the habit of a lifetime? – it’s the thousands and thousands of women who aren’t comfortable in their own bodies you should really be worried about. Being funny is far harder, Sally Sally Phillips said this week she once felt like a failure as she isn’t a ‘serious actress’.
‘The minute I started doing comedy ...
I started getting jobs, but I felt somehow that this was a failure of depth...
that there’s something about me that is not deep or serious.’ I hope she knows that comedy is much harder to get right – and when you manage it, as she has, time and time again, you have a far bigger impact. Bezos' Space Barbies flight now a PR disaster Katy Perry was part of the 11-minute expedition into space I’m glad the crew of the all-woman mission to space have returned to Earth safely, but it’s fair to say that, as a marketing project, the Blue Origin adventure has crash-landed quite spectacularly.
Celebrities are lining up to condemn the likes of Katy Perry and Lauren Sanchez for their 11-minute expedition, with model Emily Ratajkowski saying she’s ‘disgusted’. One thing’s for sure: Jeff Bezos and his Space Barbies can say they were part of the biggest PR disaster in the universe. Read More BRYONY GORDON: Lady Victoria Hervey's mean post about Virginia Giuffre says it all How did Cinders stay out so late?! What are you planning to do this evening? Meet up with some friends for a few drinks? Have a fun night out that you can sleep off over the long Easter weekend? According to new research by skincare brand No 7, the majority of women prefer an evening at home, and if we are forced to go out, 51 per cent of us want to be tucked up in bed before midnight – a decision that’s been dubbed ‘Cinderella partying’.
Am I the only one who read this and felt a bit embarrassed, not to mention exhausted? By my early-to-bed standards, midnight is way too late – by about three hours, to be exact. Does anyone else roll their eyes every time a mega-rich Hollywood star announces their intention to retire from their craft? This week it’s Oscar-winning Cate Blanchett. ‘I’m serious about giving up acting,’ she told the Radio Times.
‘[There are] a lot of things I want to do with my life.’ Blanchett also complained that she couldn’t get used to being a celebrity – but when she learns that the average woman's retirement age has risen by seven years in the last three decades, perhaps she’ll start to realise the rather unique benefits of it. Instagram Bryony Gordon Mark Zuckerberg Meta Share or comment on this article: BRYONY GORDON: I posted a nude selfie online - you'd never guess the reaction (It isn't what you think!) e-mail Add comment Comments 0 Share what you think No comments have so far been submitted.
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