I pumped my own gas and lived to tell the tale

Not this again. I thought we’d moved past this issue, but apparently we haven’t. State Sen.

Jon Bramnick, R-Union, is a candidate for governor, who for some reason known only to himself and his higher power, has decided to reintroduce a bill to legalize self-serve gas. The third rail of New Jersey politics is active again, and we all have to deal with it. In the name of transparency, I should let you know that I am on “Team Pump Your Own.

” I’ve lived and traveled outside the friendly confines of New Jersey and managed to pump my own gas without causing grievous injury to myself or others. I’ve stepped out of my vehicle and swiped my card hundreds of times and somehow the planet managed to remain on its axis. I have managed to successfully refuel an automobile on multiple occasions without drenching myself in premium.

I’ve never been stricken with hypothermia from stepping out of my climate-controlled vehicle for three minutes, and last time I checked, frostbite hadn’t claimed any of my toes. I simply pulled up to the pump, filled the tank, completed the transaction and went about my day. That being said, if my fellow New Jerseyans want to remain the only state in the union without a self-service gas option, I couldn’t care less.

If Bramnick wants to expend political capital on the issue, that’s fine too. Let me know what you guys decide, I’m good either way. Self vs full service isn’t as inconsequential as the debate over Taylor Ham vs.

pork roll (it’s Taylor Ham). But it’s close. I don’t understand the antipathy for a self-serve option from the folks I’m now calling the never-pumpers.

From what I can glean online, the argument against giving consumers an option relies on the slippery slope theory that offering self-serve in any capacity will lead to the long slow death of full service gas stations, resulting in compulsory pumping and the eventual collapse of civil society. I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist of it. The bill Bramnick is reintroducing, The Motorist Fueling Choice and Convenience Act (S4303), protects full service between the hours of 8 a.

m. and 8 p.m.

, which seems pretty reasonable to someone who genuinely doesn’t understand why this issue makes everyone nuts. It seems silly to keep arguing against an issue 49 other states have decided in favor of, but whatever, let’s just make up our minds. For or against, once the decision is made I propose we amend the state constitution to enshrine it in law for all time and move on with our lives.

Sheneman has drawn political cartoons for The Star-Ledger since 1998. His work is syndicated nationally through Tribune Content Agency. Find him at Drew Sheneman’s Cartoon Cavalcad e .

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