Miss Manners: I told her I was saving the seats, but she sat there anyway

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What exactly are the rules for saving seats at an informal event where seats are not assigned? When I was invited to my nephew’s martial arts presentation, I arrived half an hour early to save seats for my family of five (three of us were present) because the others were coming from work and couldn’t arrive early. A woman came and sat in one of the saved seats, even though my jacket was on the seat, and I politely told her that it was reserved. There was no admission fee for the event, and there were plenty of other seats available, although admittedly my saved seats had a better view, which is why I arrived early.

The woman refused to move and passive-aggressively had her teenage sons come and sit next to her and basically half-sit on my lap. I ended up moving because I was uncomfortable and had to stand in the back and miss the action and opportunity to take photos. It truly ruined my night.



Was I wrong to assume I could save the seats? GENTLE READER: It is when whole front rows are saved at the middle school play that Miss Manners declares rudeness. Her made-up but reasonable-sounding rule is this: No more than one seat saved per person already seated. So your situation qualified.

But just for free, she will give you another tip: Save seats in between the three of you, instead of at the end (i.e.: person, empty seat, person, empty seat, person).

Others will be less likely to want to climb in between and sit next to strangers. Then, when the rest of your party gets there, move over. It helps if copious amounts of bags and coats are piled up on the empty seats -- and makes it more convincing that those who are absent are just in the bathroom.

*** (Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com ; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.

com ; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.) Latest Advice Columns Asking Eric: Do we let our 63-year-old sister live in LaLa Land or suggest that she get counseling? Dear Abby: It’s okay that they don’t pray with us, but we find it offensive that they mock us while we pray Dear Annie: He scrolled past all of our photos together but ‘liked’ all of hers .

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