2 weeks Ago By Lori Gottlieb
What seems like a disagreement about family politics is actually a more general challenge that most couples face at some point in their marriage: how to navigate competing priorities. Put simply, you want to prioritize connection: your son’s relationship with his grandparents. Your husband wants to prioritize protection: preventing your son from exposure to values he believes are harmful.
Both positions come from a place of wanting the best for your child, so let’s look at each more closely through this lens. First, it’s not unusual, especially in today’s polarized culture, for a parent to try to create a kind of ideological safety zone for a child. I imagine you and your husband want to raise your son with compassion and critical thinking skills, but children don’t grow into compassionate critical thinkers by being kept in bubbles.
They grow into thoughtful, empathetic, discerning people by being exposed to a range of perspectives, and by having trusted adults around them who help them make sense of those perspectives. Children who are raised in households where conversation is encouraged, rather than ideology enforced, tend to become adults who can think for themselves. That’s why it’s not just OK for your son to be around people with different worldviews — it can be valuable.
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