Sophie White: If you’re on a fitness mission, a Gym Nemesis is crucial – hate is the optimum fuel for working out

Big Wellness will have you believe that in order to work out, you must be well-nourished and hydrated. I am here to tell you that this is complete and utter s**teology (OK, not complete s**teology but I’m feeling fired up here so please don’t expect me to be troubling myself with science). What you really need on a fitness goal is a Gym Nemesis; someone you hate, to compete against.

Longtime readers will know that I passionately believe in the power of the nemesis. I have vehemently espoused the procurement of nemesi before in these very pages. Everyone’s always talking about how valuable good friends are, and I don’t entirely disregard this.



There are some activities that only really good friends are up for. I’m thinking of extensive moaning about other halves, receiving worryingly long voicies and dead body disposal. But just as much as everyone needs a good circle of friends, everyone needs a good circle of enemies.

Or the evil equivalent of a circle. For every circle of friends, you want a reversed pentagram of enemies (yes, I was a teenage goth). There’s so much to love about having enemies; for starters, an enemy will never lie to you.

They will never be anything but violently, spitefully honest with you. If you need a straight answer regarding something about your appearance, outfit or personality, simply ask the person who hates you (or your mother). Just prepare for that answer to be crushing (especially in the case of your mother).

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