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Every , someone is sexually assaulted in the U.S. On average, that equates to 463,634 victims a year—and this number only accounts for people over 12 who actually reported their assaults.
is a grim reality we must deal with in this country, and if you’re here reading this because you have survived sexual violence, please know that you are not alone, and you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. First, there’s no perfect way to act in the aftermath of a sexual assault. This article is designed to outline resources and options for survivors to make the best decisions post-assault, but there is no right or wrong way to act or react in this situation.
“Survivors face so much scrutiny about their actions after an assault—who they did or didn’t tell, whether they reported to law enforcement, the details they may or may not remember. We must normalize that sexual assault is trauma and overwhelms our emotional and psychological resources,” says Laura Palumbo, communications director of the . “Each person reacts to traumatic experiences in different ways, both in the immediate aftermath and long term.
Everything we do in the aftermath of trauma is an attempt to survive.” With all that in mind, know that the information below is here to help survivors navigate and heal. These are some expert-approved steps to take after being sexually assaulted—with information and responses to use in the minutes after being violated, as well as for the weeks, months, and years that follow.
Get to safety. If you’ve been sexually assaulted, find a place where you feel safe and can focus on getting care. Of course, this can be easier said than done—especially if you’re experiencing shock, derealization, or a fight-or-flight reaction, all of which are common post-assault.
Consider calling a trusted friend or family member to come get you and take you to a safe space or asking them to spend time at your place with you so that you don’t have to be alone. If you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable turning to, look into sexual assault service providers—like a YWCA or violence intervention program—in your area that can offer support. “If you’re in a dangerous situation that involves a partner, go to the police or a domestic violence shelter first,” adds Erin Robinson, director of media relations at the .
Talk to someone you can trust. Let’s acknowledge first and foremost that telling someone what just happened to you may be incredibly painful. But having someone to support you through this time can be extremely beneficial, especially as you experience a range of feelings and emotions.
This person can be a loved one, a trained sexual assault service provider, a mental health professional, or a combination of all three. “RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline offers free, confidential, 24/7 support to survivors and their loved ones in English and Spanish at: 800.656.
HOPE (4673) and and en Español RAINN.org/es,” Robinson shares. Its website also offers a variety of for different communities.
Remember that what happened was not your fault. Sexual assault is wrong. There is nothing you did or didn’t do that made you deserve this form of violence.
Do not blame yourself for what happened, and know there are people out there who believe you and want to help you as you move forward. Resist cleaning up. The first thing you might want to do post-assault is clean up your space and your body, but “if you are able to, try to avoid activities that could potentially damage evidence, such as bathing, showering, using the restroom, changing clothes, combing hair, or cleaning up the area,” says Robinson.
The more DNA evidence you can preserve, the better, should you decide you want to report the incident. If you’ve done any of these things already, don’t panic—you can still have a sexual assault forensic exam performed, says Robinson. Seek medical care.
Find a medical professional. You may choose to get care for any injuries—both internal and external, visible and invisible—that you may be experiencing post-assault. If you are dealing with significant injuries and/or feel you are in danger, calling 911 might be your best option.
That said, a lot of people assume that you should go straight to the closest ER post-assault, but this isn’t always the best course of action, as not all hospitals are equipped to deal with sexual assault cases. If your injuries are more manageable and you are not in immediate danger, you can find a local sexual assault service provider by searching , calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.
HOPE (4673), or messaging . These hotlines can also connect you to an advocate who can talk you through your next steps, and potentially accompany you while you get examined. Types of care.
You can expect a sexual assault service provider to check you for injuries, treat those injuries, provide emergency contraception, test you for STIs, and prescribe preventative medicine for any infections. You may also choose to let the provider perform a sexual assault forensic exam, also known as a rape kit. More on that in the next section.
“You may be offered prevention treatment for STIs and other forms of medical care that require a follow-up appointment with a medical professional,” says Robinson. “Depending on the circumstances and where you live, the exam site may schedule a follow-up appointment, or you can ask about resources in your community that offer follow-up care for survivors of sexual assault.” Gather evidence.
Getting a sexual assault forensic exam. Three things you should know off the bat: (1) You do not have to agree to a sexual assault forensic exam to receive medical care, (2) you are not required to report your assault if you get a sexual assault forensic exam, and (3) it is your choice whether you want to stop, pause, or skip a step at any point during the exam. Should you choose to get an exam, it will be performed by a provider who is trained to do so (such as a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner).
The provider will care for any immediate injuries, ask questions related to your health history (such as preexisting conditions or current medications), ask questions about the assault and what happened to you (to determine where you may have injuries or evidence may be located), and perform a head-to-toe examination. “This part of the exam may be based on your specific experience, which is why it is important to give an accurate history,” Robinson says of the head-to-toe examination. It may involve internal examinations of the mouth, vagina, and/or anus; photos to document injuries; samples and swabs of blood, urine, hair, and the body surface; and collecting pieces of clothing or any other items that could be used as physical evidence (this can include anything that might have the perpetrator’s DNA on it, like a stray hair or piece of clothing).
With this in mind, if you’re able, “You may want to bring a change of clothes with you to the hospital or health facility where you’re going to have the exam,” suggests Robinson. The entire exam normally takes a few hours, but this can vary based on many factors. Why should I consider getting one? Even if you’re not sure whether you want to report the assault, getting a sexual assault forensic exam can be beneficial.
Not only will it allow the provider to give you immediate care and determine whether you need medication, contraceptives, or follow-ups, but it also allows you to safely store evidence, should you decide to report at a later time, says Robinson. Having an exam done also increases the likelihood that the perpetrator will be prosecuted down the line, helping prevent future assaults. “The importance of DNA evidence in sexual assault cases cannot be overstated,” says Robinson.
“Not only does DNA evidence carry weight in court, but it may prevent future sexual assaults from occurring. Even if the perpetrator is not prosecuted, their DNA may be added to the national database, making it easier to connect the perpetrator to a future crime.” When can I get one? Because the exam is designed to gather forensic evidence, the sooner you can receive one, the better.
“In most cases, DNA evidence needs to be collected within 72 hours in order to be analyzed by a crime lab—but a sexual assault forensic exam can reveal other forms of evidence beyond this time frame that can be useful if you decide to report,” says Robinson. If you think you want to report, you may want to take a look at your state laws (more on those below) to see how long you have to get the exam done. But again, this isn’t easy.
So above all else, do what’s best for you. How much will it cost? If you live in the U.S.
, you do not have to pay for a sexual assault forensic exam by law. “The Violence Against Women Act requires states to provide sexual assault forensic exams free of charge,” explains Robinson. If you are billed directly for your exam, reach out to your exam provider.
If nothing changes, reach out to RAINN and/or your state coalition. Other important information. Keep in mind that if you are a minor, the person providing the exam may be required to report it to law enforcement, depending on your state laws.
(More on state laws below.) Also, if you choose to bring someone other than an advocate into the exam room with you (like a friend or family member), there’s a chance they will be called to be a witness if you end up reporting the assault. Consider reporting your assault to law enforcement.
Making the decision. Choosing whether or not you want to report your assault to law enforcement is a decision that’s entirely your own—and it’s not always easy. While you should ultimately do what feels best for you and your mental health, “some survivors say that reporting and seeking justice helped them recover and regain a sense of control over their lives,” says Robison.
Feeling prepared before reporting can also help you feel a sense of control, so if you’re here reading this, you’re already taking steps in the right direction. Where do I start? If you feel that you are in immediate danger or your injuries are severe, calling 911 might be your best option, so help can come to you. You can also visit or call the direct line to your local police station or contact campus-based law enforcement (if you’re attending school).
“In most areas, there are specific law enforcement officers who are trained to interact with survivors of sexual assault,” says Robinson. Many people also begin the reporting process while receiving medical care post-assault, as medical professionals can also help you report the crime. Not sure which direction is right for you? You can always call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.
656.HOPE (4673) (or by messaging ) to hear options based on where you’re located. “You’ll be connected to a staff member from a local sexual assault service provider who will walk you through the process of getting help and reporting to law enforcement at your own pace,” says Robinson.
When should I report? You can report your assault whenever feels right to you—and, again, it’s up to you whether to report at all. “There is no limitation on when a victim can report a crime to police,” says Robinson. “However, in many states, there is a limitation (called the statute of limitations) on when charges can be filed and a case can be prosecuted.
” This varies state by state, as well as by type of crime and age of the victim, so it’s important to do your research should you want to press charges. Understand your state laws. As mentioned throughout this article, laws surrounding sexual assault can vary by state.
Each state has its own rules when it comes to things like statutes of limitation, mandatory reporting for children, definitions and penalties for sex crimes, and more. To see what the laws are for your state—or that of someone you love—visit and input either your state name or zip code. Prioritize emotional and psychological care.
If you’re a survivor of sexual violence, you’ve experienced trauma, so you may go through a range of emotions (including shock, numbness, anger, and fear) and experience immediate or long-term mental effects (such as PTSD, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and depression). Know that you deserve to have the proper care and support as you move forward and that recovery can take weeks, months, or years. Everyone heals at their own pace.
Therapy can be incredibly beneficial, and therapists can provide a safe space to talk and help you work through the aftermath by advising on things like how to speak to other people about your assault (should you choose to), practicing self-care, and safety planning. The has tools for finding mental health care and other local resources that can provide support..
