2 weeks Ago
Sorry to overwhelm you, but there are lots of different types of apologies. Some are heartfelt; others are inflammatory. Some are just meaningless uses of the word "sorry"—a language habit we should all try to fix so that true apologies carry more weight.
"Understanding these different types of apologies helps us become more discerning about the messages we receive, and more intentional about the ones we send," says Audra Nuru, a professor of communication studies and family studies at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn.
"It hopefully helps us foster more authentic and meaningful communication in our lives." Advertisement Advertisement We asked Nuru to break down the nine most common types of apologies. The genuine apology This is the gold-standard apology—the Rolls-Royce or Dom Pérignon of saying sorry.
"It's the kind we all hope to give and receive," Nuru says. For example: "I know I've hurt you, and I sincerely regret it. I wish I hadn't done it, and I won't do it again.
" Read More: 8 Ways to Apologize Well It's clear that the person issuing this apology truly feels the weight of their actions, takes full responsibility for the harm they caused, and, perhaps most pivotally, is determined to behave better in the future. "What makes it genuine is their sincere empathy and clear commitment to change," Nuru says. "It's the gold standard because it's harder [than other types of apologies].
" The courtesy apology If your boss needs your team to work late on an important project, he or she might break the news like this: "I'm sorry for the short notice, but I'm going to need you to stay a bit later tonight." It's a way of acknowledging that something they did or said might be seen as problematic, but they're apologizing because of an expectation to do so—adhering to a "social norm," Nuru says—and not because they intend to adjust their behavior in the future. "They're politely nodding to the disruption, and they probably do feel bad," she adds.
"But...
Angela Haupt.
