15 hours Ago
By Veronica WilliamsIn the 21st century, marriage has become an unnecessary and harmful relic of patriarchy. I am not married. I don’t think I ever will be.
Our conception of love has become narrow-minded; we associate romance with flowers, chocolates and wedding bells. However, as books like “Lolita” are consistently romanticized in the media, and popular tradwife “influencers” plague the internet, how much can we blame the current decline in women’s rights on outdated traditions such as marriage?In my opinion, quite a lot.It’s important to remember that for the majority of its history, marriage was not an institution of love; it was a contract.
Men married for power and status; women for economic safety. For the majority of history, women have been made unable to hold jobs, positions of power or pursue careers. The result of this lack of autonomy is thousands of years of women being forced to marry young, pop out babies and rely on their husbands for economic safety.
Except, here’s the thing, after hundreds of years of women fighting to be independent of their husbands, modern women now find themselves living in a society that constantly glamorizes that same lack of autonomy we just escaped. While it’s not fair to say that every age-gap marriage is unhealthy, when looking at relationships where one partner is substantially older than the other, it becomes easy to see that, oftentimes, the relationship is lopsided. Typically, the older partner is more likely to be connected, have money, and be more grounded in their identity and place in life.
On the other hand, younger partners are less secure — they have less and depend on their partner more. Yes, marriage might not be the contract it once was. But marriage can be dangerous.
Many of those who marry young don’t just give up their twenties and the experiences associated, they give up autonomy. Often, the younger partner, either a man or a woman, is forced to rely on their partner. Both financially and socially.
This can be an incredibly isolating experience. People seem to believe that having control over your own finances is a choice, but in my opinion, it’s a need. Regardless of your gender, to not have financial control is to cut your own safety net.
And maybe you’re thinking, “Well, my partner wouldn’t do that.” But do you know for sure? For many, I think, by the time they did it would be too late.Marriage no longer serves the purpose it once did.
And an institution that no longer serves a purpose is an institution that is no longer needed. And maybe it can be said the concept of marriage has evolved, that it no longer represents the old establishments it once did. An example of this would be gay marriage.
Except, here’s the thing, gay marriage is still heavily contested. It was contested when it was first legalized in 2015, and ten years later, it is still contested, both by the public and government officials. On the other hand, in discussions of marriage restrictions, child marriages are almost never discussed, despite them being legal in 37 of the 50 U.
S. states. Marriage does not represent love.
You don’t need to announce your relationship in a courthouse and testify that you love your partner. If someone does not love you, there is no contract powerful enough that could stop them from leaving you if they wanted to. And if you want to make an oath to someone, make it to yourself.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate marriage; I don’t think all marriages are miserable either. I think there are many men and women who love their spouses. But millions of loving marriages do not negate millions of abusive ones.
Marriages where spouses hit each other, cheat, and emotionally abuse each other. For all the good marriage potentially does, it does an equal amount of bad. Does that mean we should get rid of marriage entirely? No, but marriage needs reform.
Marriage should act as more than a representation of love but as an institution that protects both spouses, transforming itself into something else entirely, a mutual partnership.Veronica Williams lives in Monument..
