Miss Manners: When in a social setting, can I talk to a clergy member about religion?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are the rules about discussing religion in social settings somewhat relaxed when someone volunteers that they (or their family) are clergy? For instance, I’d never ask someone I just met about their denomination, or where they attend religious services. But most innocuous follow-up questions about a clergy member’s calling would reveal that information, even if indirectly. I obviously don’t want to start spiritual debates in social settings, but I also wouldn’t want someone to feel like they made a conversation awkward when they only stated the same information about themselves as everyone else had.

GENTLE READER: You are presupposing that everyone has long since forgotten the rules against discussing one’s profession in social settings. Maybe. Miss Manners agrees that it would be unkind to treat clergy as pariahs in conversation as soon as they mention what they do.



And she will overlook the rule about discussing professions in the moment -- if we can at least agree not to compare salaries while doing so. (Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.

com ; to her email, [email protected] ; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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